


Things we cannot reveal

by writermaedchen



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Best Friends, F/M, Jace Wayland Imagines, Shadowhunters - Freeform, Shadowhunters Imagines, hidden love, jace wayland - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-09-27 18:46:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10039247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writermaedchen/pseuds/writermaedchen
Summary: Falling for your best friend is painful.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Request: could you do a jace imagine where you've been best friends since you found out you were a shadowhunter (like clary) but you developed feelings and he doesnt notice until izzy and alec (whom are like older brother and sister to you) tell him 
> 
> SURPRISE BITCHES I’M BACK. Wow , 10 months since my last story lol. Grown Up life is busy you know. But I miss writing .
> 
> And now, enjoy!
> 
> Also sorry for any mistakes, English isn’t my first language .

It hadn’t always been like this. And still, many would claim otherwise. How could a girl not fall for Jace Wayland from the very beginning? But you hadn’t. When you first were found by those black hooded men, shivering and dumped behind a trashcan in some street corner, you had only been twelve years old. Memories? Lost.  There were no parents to bring you back to, at least none you knew about. And somehow you ended up at the New Yorker institute, striped off all memories and any sense of self. No, when you first met Jace Wayland you did not think about his two colored eyes or the wicked grin, but rather hid inside a closet. He was a lady’s boy back then already, but with you he was different. He sat outside your hiding space, bribing you out of the closet with a stuffed elephant and telling you how he also had no parents. Maybe it was the similarity of your both pasts that made you trust him. But from that moment on you followed him around like a duckling. No, not because of some silly crush but because of safety. Trust. Friendship. 

 

It hadn’t always been like this. And still, many would claim otherwise. How could a girl not fall for Jace Wayland from the very beginning? But you hadn’t. When you first were found by those black hooded men, shivering and dumped behind a trashcan in some street corner, you had only been twelve years old. Memories? Lost.  There were no parents to bring you back to, at least none you knew about. And somehow you ended up at the New Yorker institute, striped off all memories and any sense of self. No, when you first met Jace Wayland you did not think about his two colored eyes or the wicked grin, but rather hid inside a closet. He was a lady’s boy back then already, but with you he was different. He sat outside your hiding space, bribing you out of the closet with a stuffed elephant and telling you how he also had no parents. Maybe it was the similarity of your both pasts that made you trust him. But from that moment on you followed him around like a duckling. No, not because of some silly crush but because of safety. Trust. Friendship.  

 

While Isabelle and Alec Lightwood became something close to siblings, Jace could not be categorized as your brother. Mind you, not because you were closer to Alec and Izzy, because you weren’t, but because he was your best friend. When you both were fourteen he was so torn between having to choose between you and Alec as parabatai that at some point you willingly declined. You figured that if Alec shared the bond with Jace, it was way more less likely for the idiot to die. Because let’s face it, 2 years of training could not compete with Alec’s skills. And that’s what you both did; you took care of each other. That included making sure no one noticed Jace sneaking off in the middle of the night to see some girl. You got each other, a deeper understanding more valuable than some shaky romance. So no, you didn’t fall for Jace.

 

Until you did.

 

You can still remember the day of clarity quite precisely. It wasn’t the way his eye crinkled when he told you a joke and couldn’t stop laughing himself, it wasn’t the quite sigh you were so used to hearing after he fell asleep. It wasn’t his body either.

It were his tears.

It were his tears after you asked him whether he missed not growing up with real parents.  You hadn’t expected him to answer at all, used to the silence surrounding this topic. But he surprised you when he laughed quietly and rubbed at his watering eyes before sighing: ‘’Everyday. Some days are easier than others though.’’

 

Now you couldn’t talk to him without getting lost in his eyes, swallowing every time he trained shirtless or you drew a rune on him. Sleeping in one bed together made the butterflies erupt in your stomach and while you had supported his nightly hook-ups before you now nearly died with jealousy. But you kept quiet , of course you did.  Jace was your rock, losing him wasn’t an option you’d ever willingly take. And since you were sure about his feelings for you, obviously platonic, you tried not to think about too many ‘what ifs’. So you had your fair share of distraction hook-ups and put all your energy into training and suppressing any unwanted feelings.

 

‘’Get your head in the game, Y/N! What the hell is up with you?’’

You were pinned beneath Jace on the training floor, panting.

‘’Think I’m coming down with something.’’, you murmured frustrated, which turned into irritation when you heard him snort.

‘’You’re a Shadowhunter, you don’t get sick.’’

You pushed him off you with a little too much force and snapped at him: ‘’Maybe I do.’’

‘’Hey-okay okay. ‘’

Jace had his hands up, a frown ceasing his forehead before his eyes lit up with concern.

‘’I just…you’ve been on edge for a while now, messing up missions, not talking to me.  When was the last time we had a sparring session that didn’t end up with you storming out?’’

You closed your eyes frustrated and rubbed your temples.

He was right. You’ve been screwing up missions and avoiding Jace all while feeling like you’re going to blow off any minute now. The problem was standing right in front of you, looking like he was about to pull you to his chest. So you did the only thing you could bear doing; you turned around and grabbed a bow and dagger.  It’s been a month since Jace regularly met up with that witch friend of Magnus’- Alec’s boyfriend. The problem was not him dating a witch, no, it was him dating anyone that wasn’t you. You had kept it together for a few years, but lately everything seemed to crumple. Every carefully constructed wall seemed no longer to be able to withhold the sheer force of your feelings. It was also a lot easier to cope with Jace jumping from one bed into the next one, but this time it seemed to be something more serious.  And maybe that was why you sounded like a real bitch when you said: ‘’Not talking to you? It’s not like I see you around much anymore. ‘’

You didn’t dare turn around but you could feel Jace stiffen.

‘’What?’’

‘’Oh don’t act so clueless. You’re with Patricia all the time.’’

That was partly true. He indeed spent a lot time with her. But he always tried to make sure to spend at least the same amount of time with you as well. But jealousy and rage wasn’t logical. And you felt like you were losing him to someone else and like your worst fear was about to come alive.

It wasn’t just about you being jealous- no you could feel him slipping away. And there was nothing greater you feared than him leaving you alone. He was, and always would be, the most important person in your life. Even without all the lovey-dovey feelings.

But that seemed to be threatened by a certain witch and not crying right now took all your willpower.  

‘’This is unfair and you know it. It’s not true and besides, I offered like a million times to introduce you both but you keep on declining. Why are you so bothered by her being a witch I thou-‘’

‘’Don’t you-don’t you dare finish that sentence Wayland.’’, you spit out, clenching your fists and finally facing him again.

‘’This is not about her being a _witch_. How on earth can you even think something like that?’’

You bit your lower lip before taking in a deep breath.

‘’I don’t…by the angels, Y/N! I’m just trying to figure out what’s wrong. You’re being a real shitty friend, forcing me to be a shitty friend but I honestly don’t know what to do other than get mad at you.’’

His voice echoed in the room, making you wince. He was angry.

‘’Why do you have to be so blind?’’, you screamed at him before breaking the bow in the process of storming out of the training room, passing Alec and Izzy on your way out.

 

Jace was about to trail after you but then he shook his head and sat down on the stairs. Burying his face in his hands.

He felt the presence of his parabatai, but didn’t look up.

‘’You really have no clue, do you?’’

Alec’s voice was soft but wary and when Jace did look up, something like hesitation crossed his features.

‘’No clue about what?’’

The tall shadowhunter sought validation in his sisters eyes before he sighed.

‘’Here I thought I was the awkward one when it comes to feelings and relationships. But turns out you’re even dumber than me. Y/N likes you, Jace.’’

‘’I know, I like her too.’’, Jace rolled his eyes at Alec and made a move to stand up but Izzy put a hand on his shoulder.

‘’Not like that, Jace. She likes you more than just a friend. ‘’

‘’Y/N is in love with you.’’, Alec plainly said and rubbed his forehead.

‘’Look, I feel like this is going to put me in a lot of misery because she trusts me but I can’t keep on seeing her that down. Y/N thinks you’re dating Patricia. And she kept her feelings closed-off from you for quite a while but I think she fears she’s going to lose you completely to someone else and that scares her. ‘’

Jace was dumbstruck.

Alec and Izzy could tell he’d never thought about you being jealous.

‘’But Patricia…she’s not-‘’

‘’ _We_ know that, Jace. But you never really clarified that with Y/N, did you?’’, Izzy smiled before picking up the broken bow.

‘’Besides, not the most urgent thing to think about, don’t you think?’’, Alec slowly said and tried to catch any evidence of feelings on Jace’ face.

Might he feel the same? Did Alec just ruin Y/N’s and Jace’ friendship?

The silence that stretched on until Jace cleared his throat was filled with unspoken words.

‘’You’re sure about all of that?’’, he quietly asked, rubbing his palms against his trousers.

‘’Yes.’’, Izzy simply said. ‘’She’s my little sister.’’

A small smile crossed Jace’s lips at that before he closed his eyes and sighed deeply.

The concern crawling back into his features.

‘’Nothing to think about then.’’

**Author's Note:**

> It’s totally legitimate to hate me for that ending, yes. What do you think Jace means with that last statement. Let me knooooow hihi ?


End file.
